Every emotion is okay, but every behavior is not.
I saw this phrase recently, and it immediately struck a chord with me. I think it applies both inside and outside of work, especially when we’re going through challenging times.
We’re all human. When we face obstacles, experience failure, rejection or setbacks, it’s natural to feel frustrated. That emotion is okay; it’s human. It’s normal, and we all feel it (myself included). However, how we respond to those emotions is what really sets us apart because not every behavior is okay.
If we take that failure, rejection or setback and dissect it, learn from it and grow through self-reflection, those are positive, healthy behaviors. On the other hand, if we let frustration turn into blaming others, complaining or becoming what John Gordon calls an “energy vampire” (from his great book The Energy Bus), those behaviors are never okay.
Starting rumors, spreading negativity or trying to bring others into that same mindset doesn’t help anyone. It undermines your own growth and the growth of those around you.
If you want to build and sustain a great culture, one that focuses on learning, resilience and growth, you have to separate emotions from behaviors. Feel everything. But choose to act in ways that move you and others forward.
