Here’s a great quote from Chris Voss, who wrote my favorite book on negotiation, Never Split the Difference. He says, “Emotions are leverage — stay calm but read and respond to the emotions of others.” I love that!
I have to think about this all the time. I’m a passionate leader; I can get emotional, excited, fired up and intense. That passion is good, but I was reminded recently that too much emotion can hurt your credibility. It can make you sound reactive instead of calm and thoughtful.
Chris Voss talks about using facts to support your point, but also not ignoring the emotions on the other side. This comes up a lot when we’re working with our teams. When sharing information, we must ask, “How are they processing this? What emotions are they feeling?”
So stay calm and keep your emotions in check. Find that balance between enthusiasm and passion, without going over the top and losing credibility.
Voss ends by talking about the idea of practicing detachment. The less emotionally attached you are, the better you’ll negotiate. Sometimes, you have to take yourself to a different mental place so you can stay objective, think clearly and stay focused.
These are all things I work on all the time; I’m constantly putting them into practice. I’m doing it right now in different situations, and I wanted to share that message with all of you.
