Leaders, you’re not there to be your team’s friend. You’re there to be their leader. That means being a teacher, a coach and a mentor. You’re there to help them, challenge them, push them and care about them. All of that matters. Your job is to help your team succeed.
I often see leaders get too close to their team. They start hanging out together and forming strong friendships. That might seem great outside of work. And yes, you should care about your team. But you have to be careful.
Here’s why: When you’re at work, and you need to challenge someone, hold them accountable or even let someone go because of performance, it gets messy. People may feel hurt or even betrayed. They might say, “I thought we were friends.”
That’s why I believe in keeping a healthy line. I have people here I care deeply about—some I’ve worked with for over 20 years. In fact, we just celebrated Dwight Strayer’s retirement. He’s a good friend, and so are others I’ve worked closely with—the founder of our company, former CRO Mark Thomas, former CFO Craig Harper, and their wives. We are all friends to this day.
But when we worked together, we always kept that line. Work came first. We cared about each other, we worked hard together, and we even argued sometimes—but it was all to help each other grow and succeed. They helped me as much as I helped them.
So yes, care about your team. Be kind, be supportive, but keep the line clear. That way, everyone knows you’re their leader—and that your goal is to help them win in their journey.
